You’ve probably heard a lot about No Man’s Sky over the last week or so, after a dedicated gamer shelled out $1,300 for a leaked copy of the game. This gamer, who goes by the pseudonym daymeeuhn on Reddit, has been posting videos of early gameplay and his impressions of the game so far, which has caused quite the stir.

To be honest, I didn’t know a lot about No Man’s Sky to begin with, but I was determined to buy it, probably because of the insane amount of hype surrounding the game. It may be that much of this hype was generated by what people expected the game to be without much concrete evidence that the game would live up to these expectations. For many the leak has seemed to  dampen their excitement leading up to the official release of the game, while others have said that the leak has only made them more excited for the game.

I’ve followed the advice of Hello Games’ Sean Murray and have steered clear of any leaked material, but it’s hard not to feel the effect of the leak. Even though I hadn’t previously looked into exactly what No Man’s Sky was supposed to be, I just had a gut feeling like I’d want to get into the action on day one and discover the universe alongside everyone else. Now I’m more afraid that if I buy it on release day I might find out first hand that it’s not what I wanted it to be. There’s still a nagging feeling that if I don’t get my hands on it next week I’ll miss out on all the discovery and wonder of the early stages of the game, before all its secrets get out and we begin to realize our experience might not be as unique as we thought it’d be.

Ultimately the events of the last week have me more conflicted than usual concerning whether to purchase a game I’ve been anticipating. It’s definitely incredibly frustrating to ignore the negativity leading up to a game’s release, only to end up kicking yourself when you find you should have listened to it (I got screwed with Battleborn already this year). At the same time, I feel like I’d be more angry if I waited a week or two and missed out on the magic of the No Man’s Sky experience early on.

At this point I’m just talking in circles, but unfortunately that’s exactly how I’m feeling about No Man’s Sky right now. If you want to read some much more coherent thoughts on the No Man’s Sky leak, Austin Walker’s article at VICE is a great read!